this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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