i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
