Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
