her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
