i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
