rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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