So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
