Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize