my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
