he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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