I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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