Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's the barista slut.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
