She's JV to your varsity
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
