he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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