I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
