We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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