I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
