I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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