that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my being single is dangerous.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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