My nipple is on Facebook.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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