Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize