Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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