In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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