I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
