I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
