Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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