Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
