Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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