so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
