Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
