i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
