You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
