Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I believe in your delicious
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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