omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
