he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
