I'm really into asian looking animals
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
