I'd wear matching sweaters with you
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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