I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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