Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
