called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
