Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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