she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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