she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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