It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
