Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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