The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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