She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
