why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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