I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
