I wish my penis had an off switch
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You were trust falling into bushes
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
