i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
