he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
