Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
