sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
