1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
