Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
