is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
