So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
