Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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