Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
