brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
