how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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