I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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