Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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