i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
