Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
